Lifestyle of the Dead

The Living Impaired Website

Our Political position!

I don't think we need to go into great detail, our political button says it all. We hope you will join us in our efforts to dig up and get Goldwater elected.  As a Senator He was a giant of a man and not afraid to speak his mind.  These days he is very quiet and will fit right in with our do nothing Congress.

That's right, nothing has happened in years in congress and we want to continue the tradition.  Actually, the less they do in Washington, the better off we are.  The names of the living impaired have been used for years without there permission, so this year let's make their vote count!!!!  It doesn't matter if you are living or living impaired just get out and VOTE!!!

Party time in Madagascar

Once a year in Madagascar many people celebrate what they call the tradition of partying with the dead, called the "turning of the dead".  They dig up their relatives, clean them up, put new shrouds on the living impaired and party down with them. Many folks take their living impaired relatives on a stroll through town and show them all the new things and introduce them to children that were not born when the relative departed.  Now that is respect!  At the end of the day they are reburied and rest for next year. 

Striptease Funerals

A lot of people around the world feel like the local villagers in the Donghai region of China, believe that the more people who attend a funeral, the more the dead person is honored. But this is novel,  never before have I heard of striptease send-offs to attract mourners. 

Porn Collection

An unmarried Russian man who departed at 65, is apparently so attached to his stack of porn magazines, that not only has he decided to be buried with them when he dies, but has also designed a coffin with special space for them.

As we can see some of the living impaired lead very busy and happy existences that all of the dear departed  should be able to enjoy.  Let's see what we can do to help, read on.

The living Impaired need love too!

Just because the heart stops beating doesn't mean there isn't fire in the bones.  The  living impaired are shy about this issue and probably won't talk to you about it, so it is up to us to give them the opportunity.   Get your dear departed loved ones together, light some candles, a little mood music and maybe a nice bottle of wine.  You should then discretely leave the room and give them some alone time.  There will be plenty of time for visiting for you later.

As we can see some of the living impaired lead very busy and happy existences that all of the dear departed  should be able to enjoy.  Let's see what we can do to help, read on.

Leisure time

 The living impaired would enjoy an active life style just as you and I .  Plenty of time to relax along with exercise and hobbies to keep them occupied as they will be "living impaired" for a very long time.  Plenty of exercise will keep their joints limber and help prevent bone deterioration and promote good death.  We want nothing less for our dear departed and so let's do all we can do to assure good death for our living impaired friends.........................................